I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
