Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
