so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize