Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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