i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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