happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
