idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Come on in and take your pants off
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