Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
