I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
