I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
