Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize