I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
