Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
