just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
