I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
