saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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