is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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