They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
