were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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