That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Randomize
