If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
