There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
