shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize