Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I want to be your penis for a week.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
