Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
