never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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