Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
