she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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