Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
We got so high we made milksteak
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
