16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
