Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize