please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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