Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize