So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
