After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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