So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
