Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize