google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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