The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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