Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
