One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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