Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
