She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
