he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
