2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
