Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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