Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
