That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
