After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
