Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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