So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
