well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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