Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it was like eating out sand paper
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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