I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
