Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
