I could make wine with my vomit
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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