I want to stick my p in your. b.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
