It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
