i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
