every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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