Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
