based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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