Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
