don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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