so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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